Doctor Who Christmas 2007 Voyage Of The Damned - Part 2 - Comment and Opinion

OK, I've just come away from the TV where I caught the last half of the story again.

I found that, even though I didn't see it the whole way through, I don't feel like I missed anything vital. And anyway, the most important bits to see were the sneak previews of Series 4 shown at the end.

So what did I think? And I would like to know YOUR opinion too.

I think I said before that most of what we saw was basically a good old-fashioned disaster movie with Doctor Who on top. Once we have got away from the fact that, yes, this is not the sea-version of the SS Titanic then we can relax a bit. Any attempt to make something out of the real thing would have been foolish I feel - although for most of the year THAT IS the storyline I was toying with in my mind. But it was good that in the first five minutes we put to rest both of those things that had troubled us all between Series 3 and now:-

The way it had been left at Series 3 end
QUESTION 1 - WHY has the Titanic crashed through the walls of the Tardis?
ANSWER - Because The Doctor was doing some maintenance work and had taken down the shields. This was reinforced in the Children In Need Special. Peter Davison's departing words were to remind The Doctor to put his defences back up. But erm ..... WHOOPS!

QUESTION 2 - What about the smashed-in Tardis walls now and repairs?
ANSWER - Obvious really. The Tardis being the all-powerful ship it is was able to pull away and repair itself and close the wall just like that. And then raise its shields and dematerialise inside the ship that had just crashed into it. Which was what would have happened had the shields been up in the first place.

Both of these worked for me with no sense that I'd been had. And I mean that most sincerely! REALLY I do!

OK, now what about the Voyage Of The Damned storyline?
Was it worthy of a Christmas Special? And was I glad I watched it? I said before, I don't think it compares well with the previous two. But yes, I definitely DID enjoy it. And I hope it is NOT the last we see of The Host Angels. A very menacing new enemy!

The Doctor's role in the story
Well, he said it himself at the start - whenever he wears that dinner jacket and bow-tie, it means trouble. And Trouble with a BIIIIG Capital T it was! OK, so his role was basically to save the remaining crew and passengers and along the way save the Earth and beat the Bad Guy. Yup, we can tick that little box. All done in the usual David Tennant way and very good he was too as always. Well ... apart from the bit near the end where Max Capricorn has been defeated and he needs a way to get to the ship's bridge fast. Erm, HOW to do it? Ah yes, The Host Angels had had their leader toasted so control had to pass to the next higher authority. Hmm WHO could that be? Well, don't think TOO LONG about it please! And a really quite CHEESY bit when those two Angels lifted The Doctor up and flew him all the way up back to the bridge. There were complaints from religious types about this, and although I am NOT one of those I do not feel it was necessary to do that sequence. But for the sake of speed, and with time runnning out and with the obvious appeal of the effect it created, yup, THAT was the way to go. Well, but as we know now from the end of the Master story in Series 3, The Doctor IS GOD! The kids may not have realised it yet but we grownups do!

Not sure, but this approach may well cause trouble for the BBC in the future. As I said, it doesn't matter much to me personally but DOES the BBC realy want to bring itself into conflict with religion and with the bishops and archbishops of this land? And more than this, if the BBC wants to promote this in the USA, then THEY won't take too kindly to this either!

But having saved the Titanic from its seemingly-inevitable crash landing, then AH HAH! YES, can the mighty Doctor save the life of Astrid Peth too? This would also increase the Cheese Rating to being Near Off The Scale. Thankfully they backed away from doing that. And it was good to see the frustration of the Great Doctor as he struggled in a kind of power-mad way to bring back Ms Minogue from the dead. Couldn't do it, kicked the machine screaming, "I can do ANYTHING!", in his annoyance. Well not quite.

I think there is a slight danger that we might get to a can-do-anything-I-like variety of Doctor Who. And this would really take away from the humour and human-like normality that IS what makes The Doctor's character so believable and great. It IS the fact that he doesn't come with any plan or any great powers except the mighty sonic screwdriver and his Tardis that really makes it all such a great thing to watch. If he became like The Fantastic Four all in one then WHO would be watching? No, you just leave him as he is please BBC!

The Buckingham Palace near-miss ending
Hmm ... did YOU find that funny? Well it did not amuse me much. And it brought to mind part of an interview David Tennant gave after the Christmas Special last year when he was asked which of London's famous landmarks he was going to trash next. Jokingly he replied that maybe the Palace might be a nice one to do. Well, hah hah Mr T. you nearly got your wish! Yes, we certainly know Russell T Davies's position on the Royal Family now! OK, it's funny to side-swipe Big Ben, it amuses us to smash all the glass in 'The Gherkin' in London and it WAS a hoot to drain The River Thames last year. But Buckingham Palace? Sorry but that would have been going WAY TOO FAR!

That subtle little back-reference from the storyline! Alonzee Alonzo .... allez!!
Now, you would have to know the Doctor Who series inside out to have spotted the 'Alonzo' reference. Yes, that was the first name of Midshipman Frame - the last man aive on the bridge who had been shot by Captain Hardaker at the beginning. So what of 'alonzo' then? Well, it's nothing much, but it came up in Series 2 and 'Army Of Ghosts' (episode 12).

So what's it all about? Some suggest that it is nothing more than a simple drinking game for adults. But the phrase, "Allons-y Alonzo", has come up twice now. If you know your French (and I didn't!), then this thread on the TV.com forum says it means simply, "Let's go, Alonzo!".

Nooo!! There HAS TO be more than that! But for now it will have to stay as it is.

BANG BANG he's .... NOT at all dead actually!
Look, OK, we're not in the wild wild west here and yes, I DO know it IS fiction. But the gun that Captain Hardaker used to shoot Midshipman Alonzo Frame with was not a small one. And basically - well, Mr Frame was left holding that area of his lower torso for the whole episode.

But there was NO BLOOD!!?? Not on his shirt, not on his hands, not anywhere visible!

Strikes me that this area of your body is likely to be one which contains quite a lot of the red stuff and not one you could be shot in and then competently still stay in the upright position and then attempt to operate the controls, communicate without problem and generally - well, carry on as normal.

No, I have never been shot in my life and don't wish to be either. But if you had a bullet in your body then BLOOD WOULD BE COMING OUT and you really WOULDN'T be able to stay conscious or upright for that long. Certainly NOT over an hour or longer if we assume that we were not operating in real time.

The abilities or lack of them that people have after having been shot are extremely flexible on TV and they always have been. But C'MON! Let's get real guys! He SHOULD have been dead! No blood on his hands either!!

The 'fat guys' - Morvin and Foon Van Hoff
Hehe it was good to see another act of defiance by RTD in having these two in the story. Well, I mean after all this the government has been banging on this year at us that we must WATCH WHAT WE EAT and that OBESITY IS SUCH A BIG PROBLEM IN THE UK.

I thought they were really great and it was sad that they got killed off so soon even though then went down fighting. But there were numerous fat references in the initial escape from the Angels. Well, I mean things like that they were too big to get through the gaps and stuff. But they were two brilliant and very loveable characters and it was great that they had won the trip through some kind of phone-in competition which Foon admitted later she had spent something like 5000 credits (or some other very large number) on to get the win.

And I loved the way that The Doctor sat with them at the start and made the champagne go off in the faces of the pompous gits on the next table who were sneering at them. The Lonely Traveller with the Lonely Travellers!

Bananafalata - no, Bannakalatafka, NOOOOO!!!! WHAT was his name again?
We haven't had a toungue-twister since Eccleston days so it was only right that we SHOULD have one again. And WHAT a twister it was!! Bannakaffalatta, the cyborg midget who saved them all! It's one of those little writer's jokes isn't it to put in an unpronounceable name for your Star Cast to deal with! Eccleston, Piper and company had to wrestle with theirs so it was only fair that Mr Tennant, Ms Minogue and company should have one too. BRILLIANT! But WHY did he have to die too?

The other tongue-twister I am referring to, of course, is, "Raxicoricophalabitorious" (and I had to look that up and copy-and-paste it!!) and it was the Slitheen's home planet from Series 1 and, later, from the Sarah Jane Adventures.

A LOT of dead bodies for a single Doctor Who episode!
No, I don't mean all those unseen Titanic passenger passengers and crew personnel. But of those who started out on the story with The Doctor, so few remained. Once the Host Angels death halos had been revealed to us, then All Hell was to break loose (some kind of pun there I think).

First there was the unknown crew member who was the first to taste the halo's cutting power. Just to introduce it. But then we had the unnecessary and early death of Morvin Van Hoof who trod on something he shouldn't and fell down to be toasted by the engines. He was followed by cyborg Bannakaffalatta who didn't actually die except when he zapped the Host Angels with his EMP device and so drained his own power source completely. Then, still crossing that 'bridge' we had Foon Van Hoof who actually died to save them all by roping the Angel and jumping off pulling the Angel down too.

"No More!", the Doctor declared, and so it was until the very end when Astrid Peth also gave her life and that of a fork-lift truck to push Max Capricorn down to that green-screen ending which we know well.

I know Doctor Who is all about 'Death And Destruction', but this beats the other two Christmas Specials by some distance for the number of starring cast members who met their end. Am I right?

Doctor Who Christmas 2007 Voyage Of The Damned - Did It Float YOUR Boat?

Now ... IS THIS part of Series 4 or NOT? Well the Christmas Special story of Doctor Who always seems to be regarded as the start or possibly pre-start of the series to come later in the year. So I think I'm quite safe to talk about it here. What's that? SOME of you reading this DIDN'T WATCH IT on Christmas Day like you were told to? Some of you are just going to be lazy and watch it on New Year's Day? SHAME ON YOU! Well so if you read this, your fun will just get spoilt then and you'll have to find something else to do at 2.15pm New Year's Day.

OOPS I've told you now! Yes, OK, for those of you who regarded eating as more important than watching both David Tennant AND the adorable Kylie Minogue TOGETHER IN ONE SCREENSHOT, then yes, you CAN see the repeat at that time. On BBC One of course!

So how was it for you?
OK, so down to business then. So what did YOU think of it? Inevitably we have to compare it to the previous two with those pesky Sycorax types and that yukky Racnoss lady-thing.

I must say this: I did not enjoy it nearly as much as the Racnoss Christmas Special last year. And the Sycorax were real BAAAAAD! The villain this year didn't show up right until the last fifteen minutes or so and his exit was already guaranteed by then. The mysterious Max Capricorn who, it seemed, oversaw everything and overtook everyone he could to .... plan the perfect retirement.

The political bit for the grownups
Ohhh THAT MAN Russell T Davies does it AGAIN! He just LOVES getting in those little oh-so subtle political back-stabs into his stories. Yes, THIS time its the pensions chaos of all those poor unfortunates who had company pensions only to lose everything when their bosses refused to pay up on collapse of the corporation they had all given their entire working lives for. EHHHH no politics here!! This is a family programme! Ahh, but we adults watch it too AND we got it even if the kids didn't!

What about Kylie? Was she any good?
If you're one of those people who worships the very ground Ms Minogue walks on, then you certainly had your fill a-plenty of the pint-sized princess of pop. Personally I am NOT one of those. And sorry to say, but I thought she was pretty naff. Yes, she's got the most carefully choreographed movoes to PERFECTION when it comes to music, but stuck here in a role like this she did NOT shine. I did not like her delivery and was not really very convinced by her character. Even the little in-joke when she had to run off to get a box to stand on to kiss David T. was .... well, I'm actually surprised she let them use it. I thought all those jokes about her height disappeared with Charlene in 'Neighbours'. And so yes - I'm not at all unhappy that she won't be riding with the Doc in the Tardis.

The character of Astrid Peth
Acting aside, there are several important things to note in your Doctor Who fact-file about Astrid Peth. The most notable is that we must surely consider her to be an official 'companion'. She had joint top billing in the credits so that confirms that for me. Given this, Astrid Peth is the shortest-living companion (literally) EVER of The Doctor in ANY series. I trhink I'm right in saying that NEVER BEFORE has ANY companion of Doctor Who been introduced and KILLED OFF in the same episode.

Now, another thing RTD is well-known for by now is his use of anagrams. And the name Astrid Peth has just GOT TO BE an anagram of SOMETHING.

Well, I have tried. But nothing plausible comes up.

You can try it too with THIS COOL TOOL I found today:-


The best one I could make was 'Tepid Trash' which is .... err ..... well, NO!

So she got fried in the engines and was then 'brought back' as atoms to float in space forever. Does this mean she could make a comeback someday? Or develop strange powers to help the Doc and his merry men? Everything is possible in sci-fi, but THIS writer thinks not.

Now to the Story Itself ...
If you loved those old disaster movies of the 1970's then THIS would be right up your shipping channel! Because THAT is what most of the story was about. The Doctor and a dwindling number of trapped survivors finding their way out to the bridge where the brave survivor Midshipman Alonzo Frame (Russell Tovey) was hanging on to life after having been shot by the Captain (Geoffrey Palmer) who, it seems, had been persuaded that it really was a 'good thing' to lower the shields of the ship so that any oncoming meteors could inflict whatever damage they could. Ah, how convenient! There they were! But were they MEANT to be there? Did he take down the shields on the off chance of a meteor shower or were they radio-controlled or guided meteors being lured onto the Titanic's side? That wasn't clear, but hey, I suppose in THAT part of space in orbit above the earth anything can happen! OK, I'll let that pass.

Anyway, the meteors hit - about four or five slammed into the side. Badly damaged, many crew and passengers dead and damaged engines. Ah, but not just ANY OLD engines you know - THESE ones are NUCLEAR. The Titanic is a very large ship, and so the idea is that the Titanic is now falling through space and is on collision course with us here on Sol 3. Nuclear engines, nuclear explosion and a VERY nasty hole in the ground would result so therefore has to be stopped.

The Doctor is already in and is with Astrid, Mr Copper (Clive Swift), Morvin and Hoon Van Hoff (Clive Rowe and Debbie Chazen) and cyborg Bannakaffalatta (Jimmy Vee). But now they have to contend with The Host - a number of robot angels with VERY NASTY halos to match. They press on to try to reach the bridge but the Van Hoffs are lost and Bannakaffalatta also dies heroically using a large electromagnetic pulse (EMP) from his robotic innards which disables The Host angels which are closing in. Having established that they now have a weapon, Astrid takes it from the dead cyborg's body to use when needed.

The Doctor finds a way too to get information out of The Host angels and discovers that Deck 31 is the place where it is all controlled from. He heads off there and sends the survivors on with their weapon. And AT LAST - over 1 hour into the story we finally meet our Bad Guy #1 Max Capricorn. He is revealed slowly to us - his chair trundling out of its indestructible "impact chamber". The story is that he was forced out by the company directors due to their prejudice against cyborgs. A simple revenge story! Revenge against the board who would be charged with mass murder of humans and revenge against human-kind itself! He would survive in his impact chamber and then retire very nicely.

BUT Astrid has teleported down to Deck 31 to The Doctor to see him struggling in the grip of The Host Angels and facing a grim end. Ah hah, a fork-lift truck! Just what she needs! So in she gets and rams Max Capricorn and herself in the truck off and down, down to the engines to be incinerated. And a very sad Doctor results.

The Titanic is still on crash course with the Earth with no engines working. BUT using the heat from re-entry into the Earth's atmosphere they manage to restart the engines and avert a disastrous collision with Buckingham Palace moments before impact and sail off back into the stars.

One more vain attempt to save Astrid, but all The Doctor can do is bring back her atoms using the teleport. So now she can go and explore the universe after all! AHHHH how SWEET! Oh, and there is a happy ending for Mr Copper who has a cool million pounds on his ship's expenses credit card to do with as he pleases on the planet. Some guys have all the luck!

OK, that completes Part 1 of my review. I didn't want to do it like this but the other night I couldn't save what I was doing and so couldn't finish at that time. But patience my brethren - it will be done. All comes to he who waits!